Making Marriage Work, Pt. 3, by Dr. Robert Grice

In this post, Robert Grice, PhD, continues exploring Dr. John Gottman’s principles for nurturing a healthy marriage. Dr. Grice is a therapist at Counseling Resources, specializing in trauma, grief, and marriage counseling.

In our first two posts, which you can read HERE and HERE, I introduced the Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that John Gottman discovered after 40 years of research with couples.

Last time we looked at Gottman’s love maps concept. Basically, how well you know your spouse. What do they like? What do they dislike? What makes them happy? What does not make them happy? This knowledge is an important tool for building closeness. Today, we turn to Gottman’s second principle.

2. Nurturing Fondness and Admiration

How well do you like each other? Are you increasingly finding yourself thinking, “I love you but do not like you?” Do you build up and encourage each other? If so, how do you build each other up? How do you encourage each other? When was the last time you expressed gratitude to each other?

I encourage couples in my office to make three affirmations to each other every day. The reason is to get the focus off problems and onto the things that attracted and attached you to your partner in the first place. This mindful practice will nurture fondness between the couple, which strengthens the relationship. Fondness and admiration are important because without both, life can quickly drain from the marriage, and the dying process can begin. 

If you are interested in exploring therapy with Dr. Grice, click HERE to send a message to our office, or call (334) 671-1280.

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