Making Marriage Work, by Dr. Robert Grice

In this post, Robert Grice, PhD, introduces Dr. John Gottman’s principles for nurturing a healthy marriage. Dr. Grice is a therapist at Counseling Resources, specializing in trauma, grief, and marriage counseling.

“We fight all the time.” This sentiment, or something similar, is often expressed by couples in counseling. They mean that something in their marriage is broken, and they do not know how to fix it. Fair enough. That’s what counseling is for.  

Think of your marriage like a complex machine. When all the interlocking parts are functioning correctly, the machine runs smoothly. If only one part is out of sync or not working at all, the other parts are affected and the machine breaks down.

What can we do to maintain the marriage relationship so that it functions correctly? John Gottman dedicated his academic career to researching how to improve marriage relationships. His research created what he describes as “The Seven Principles.” Is this an exhaustive list on the subject? No, but each item is vital in making the marriage “machine” function properly.

What are Gottman’s seven principles? We will discuss each principle in this series by devoting a post to each. Here, as an introduction, is the list in its entirety. Each week a new post will explore a principle in the hopes that they help enrich your marriage.

1. Sharing love maps

2. Nurturing fondness and admiration

3. Turning toward each other instead of away

4. Letting your partner influence, you

5. Solving the solvable problems

6. Overcoming gridlock

7. Create shared meaning together.

If you are interested in exploring therapy with Dr. Grice, click HERE to send a message to our office, or call (334) 671-1280.

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